Mind Over Matter

 

 

Last Saturday during our "Courage Retreat", I got up early to run on the treadmill in the hotel's gym.  I'm following a training program to help me be ready to run the 5K by March 16th.  On that day, I was scheduled to run longer than I had yet.  I was to run 8 minutes/ walk 1 minute x 5. 

 

I was the first in the little gym.  I put on some Lenny Kravitz to keep my body moving.  It started out great.  A man comes in who looked like a short Anderson Cooper and he starts running next to me.  My young girl self felt the sudden urge to prove that I was stronger and tougher than that dude next to me.  I was.

 

While me and Anderson-look-alike were running, a very skinny lady comes in.  She was obviously an avid runner.  My confidence was suddenly shaken by her presence.  I felt that same young girl inside of me want to get off the treadmill and let the person who knew what she was doing, do it.  But I didn't.

 

She asked when we'd be done.  I was at 15 minutes at this point. I turned around and said I was going for 45 minutes.  Now the pressure was on.  I could not slack off or fail.  The lady would come in and out every few minutes for the remainder of my run.  While she stepped out, Anderson-look-alike got off and a big old, grandpa type came in.  Now my young self was thinking, "I don't want to look like this guy when I'm old."  Not a kind thought, for sure.  But it motivated me.

 

My mind started to turn towards the situation on a whole.  I felt vulnerable.  I had a goal that I wasn't sure if I could do but I so desperately wanted to.  I just put myself above someone else which is awkward territory for me.  Usually I put myself last.  I was pushing back guilt by reminding myself that I needed to be on the treadmill.  My children need me to be healthy.  This Grandpa next to me needed to be on the treadmill too.  We were united in an effort to improve the quality of our lives.  I do not need to apologize for asking this lady to wait her turn.  Her turn would come.

 

On a whole, I was surprised that I was able to do the run without much difficulty.  My body felt fine.  It was my mind that was getting the true workout.  When I reached my goal of running for 45 minutes and then doing the cool down, I was grinning from ear to ear.  My heart was full of love, gratitude and righteous pride.  I ran a total of 3.6 miles, further than my 5K race.  I DID IT!!!!!!

 

When I got off, I walked over to the lady and said, "Thank you for your patience.  I needed to reach my daily goal.  I just ran longer and farther than I ever have before. I'm so happy."  She looked at me and replied with a smile, "I'm so glad you didn't stop for me."  What a nice lady.