Courage Retreat

Story Time: On our courage retreat, we went to the Mill City Museum in Minneapolis.  The Gold Medal Mill was destroyed by a horrible fire in 1991 (I think that is the correct date) and was restored and is now a museum reflecting the wonderful history of the Twin Cities and the great industry of wheat milling that fed the world.  The tour was entertaining and fun!  Also, the entire museum smells like freshly baked bread.  That alone won my heart. :)

 

Norma, Mom and I decided a little over a month ago to have a quick getaway to the Twin Cities to just be together and do whatever.  Unfortunately, with such short notice, none of my sisters in-law were able to join us.  In the future, it is my hope that we'll be able to get all of us Gilstrap women together to reconnect and enjoy some time together without the busy noise of daily life.

 

Norma found a few spots that looked interesting to visit, I made all the food in advance and our Mom came ready to fill us with her love, laughter and wisdom.  Norma coined this getaway a "Courage Retreat" to celebrate all the courageous acts we performed throughout the past year.  We sat and discussed what those moments were and how it impacted us for the better.

 

I won't share what Norma and Mom's courageous moments were because that is their business.  I will say that their courage inspires me. For myself, it was giving birth to Michael and being courageous enough to decide to have my tubes tied. Also embarking on the road of helping my body heal and improving the quality and quantity of what I fuel my body with. Setting a goal and preparing to run in races (a somewhat scary thought to me).  And we all seemed to agree that waking up every morning to taking care of my four little ones was courageous enough as it is.

This retreat was exactly what my spirit needed to end February and welcome March.  My goals for February proved to be more emotionally challenging than I anticipated.  Showing love to others is easy for me.  Expressing love towards myself was surprisingly painful.  Thankfully while with Mom and Norma, I felt that just taking the time to be with them gave me space to feel love for the soul that I am and the courage I've been endowed with thrive in life.  

I'm grateful to share blood with these fine women and to claim them as family.  I'm so blessed.

*I'll be sharing more about our trip throughout this week.



Love to those who have passed on: George

This is my Great-uncle George Brown.  He was a grumpy old soul.  He burned many bridges because of his pessimism and distrustful nature.  I don't think he was always that way.  He worked hard all his life and was apart of many wonderful experiences. 

For a living, he worked in Hollywood back in the "good ole days" doing special effects.  George had a brilliant mind.  He did effects for most John Wayne movies, The Searchers and I'm sure you've all seen Mary Poppins. 

As a child I would have him tell me all about working on Mary Poppins. What was Julie Andrews like to work with?  Answer: frustrating because she was too proper to let him in her dressing room to measure her so he could build the right harness to keep her upright while flying.   He had an opinion about most of the actors of that time period.

Anyway, the tragedy of his life was that he and my great-aunt Fae made big plans for retirement.  He worked hard to ensure that they would have no cares while they grew old together.  Right before retirement, Fae got sick and he started to lose his eyesight.  He cared for his wife until she died and then lived alone while life became darker with his vision.  George felt like life cheated him.

 

Story Time: I know the post is an entire story but I wanted to point out my Aunt Fae's hair.  See the braids?  She was too sick to do her own hair so George braided her hair everyday for her until she passed.  There is so much love from that simple act.  He knew she wanted to look nice and he honored that.  (Also picture is my Uncle Thom, cousin Clayton, me and my Mama)

For some reason, as a little 3 year old, I won his heart.  It was luck perhaps because few had such an honor.  He loved me and I loved him.  I still love him.  He may have been a grump but the way he showed his love was through giving others experiences. 

Right before my mission, George called me up and told me he bought a car.  "Why would you buy a car when you can't see George?" I asked him.  "Well, I thought you could drive me to Oklahoma before you leave for that mission of yours," he replied.  I thought it sounded like fun but I was nervous driving a 96 year old man around.  He worked with a guy and made all the arrangements.  He didn't just want to get to Oklahoma, he wanted to share with me his life story.

We went to the Grand Canyon (pictured above).  I had never been there before or since.  Beautiful.  Next stop, Monument Valley where he worked on The Searchers.  The rock formations were incredible.  Then we drove to Colorado where he was born and raised (Fruita and Grand Junction). I saw the house he was born in and some of his old haunts.  Finally we landed in Oklahoma. 

What I remember most were our conversations.  He didn't believe in God.  Life was a rotten joke in his view.  I was so grateful he couldn't see because as he shared his life with me, tears streamed down my eyes. How can a 96 year old man completely miss all the beauty that life had?  I don't mean to make it sound like it was all negative.  We laughed together too.  Mostly from my efforts to get him to smile.  Which he would.

I left on my mission.  We sent tapes to each other since he couldn't read.  My last tape I sent him, I felt impressed to share with him my belief that we will live after this life and be reunited with our families.  I told him that I knew I'd see him again and that I loved him.  Unbeknownst to me, he was in the hospital when he got the tape.  My Mom played it to him and when he heard me tell him that I loved him, he cried.  He then told my Mom that there was nothing after this life.  My Mom made the point that one of us is right.  George said, "I hope you are." 

A week before I returned from my mission, he passed away.  Boy did I cry.  I ached to see his "old and moldy" face, hear his gruff voice and do everything I could to make him laugh.  He was a great challenge that I enjoyed breaking him down and making him feel happiness.  He gave me so much.  I learned that we can love anyone, even those that are difficult.  Also, life is to short to wait until we're old to travel.  We must seize the day and be happy with all the tremendous gifts we have.  There are many.  George had much to be grateful for.  I'm grateful for him.  I'll see him again.    

Start a Love Train

Story Time: I own lots of 70's clothes.  As a teenager, 70's was my go to outfit for Halloween and dress up parties.  I celebrated my 20th birthday at a roller skating rink with my hair in a fro and wearing fantastic bright clothes and platforms dancing (and falling on my butt) while skating.  My sister and I had a 70's theme Thanksgiving that rocked our world.  I was born in the wrong decade.  70's music hits my soul in a place nothing can.  "Love Train" is one of my favorite songs.  I had our wedding DJ play it at the reception.  LOVED IT!!! It makes me want to get down a groove soul-train style (like I did at my friend Tiff's house growing up with her parents).  The message is also important to me... Love to all mankind throughout the world.  Beautifully fun! 

As I've organized goals for the month, here are some activities I'd like to do:

• Spend a week focusing on what we love about ourselves.  Celebrate what we have been divinely blessed with.  We must recognize our talents and gifts in order to use them to bless others.  It's important to show gratitude for those gifts as well.  How sad if all we saw were our shortcomings and didn't take time to feel the joy of all the good we have within us because of a loving Father in Heaven.
• 2nd week focus on what we love about our family and send notes to them
• Make Valentine's Boxes with my kids so we can write love notes to each other and express what we value in each other. 
• 3rd week focus on what we love about our friends and express our love to them through notes and gifts.
• 4th week focus on our wonderful neighbors and express that appreciation for having them in our lives.
• Make Valentine decorations with the children to create open dialogue on love and what it is that we love about each other, life and how to express it not just in February but always.
• I'm going to make more of an effort to write in my journal about the blessings  I receive daily and in my prayers express my love to God for ALL the many blessings and tender mercies He offers me. 

This may sound cheesy but

 I hope you join me on this "Love Train".

(Yep, that's horribly cheesy!  Totally worth it.)

Goodbye January/Welcome February

January has been a great experience while I've focused on improving my sleep.  Overall, I would say it was successful.  My children are sleeping better.  I'm waking up in the morning surprised that I slept all night.  I feel much more rested.  This past week, though, was not my finest in regard to going to bed at a decent hour.

I will confess, I have an addictive personality.  If I start something, I go OCD and have to finish it.  Great for when I'm cleaning, terrible when it's a fictional book or TV show.  I had two shows that sucked me in.  I watched the rest of Season 3 of Downton Abbey and I did a marathon of The Big Bang Theory. 

How was I able to do this?  Jared was out of town all week and my kids go to bed early enough that TV would take up my evenings.  Downton Abbey killed me.  I cried myself to sleep.  The Big Band Theory is just strange in a humorous way.  It gives me a glimpse into all the nerdy gamer boys I know.  What a trip!  I must say, I'm not proud of myself.

On to February.  This month is associated with expressing love.  I am going to spend this month making a more conscientious effort to not only express my love for my family and friends but to make sure my thoughts are charitable as well (especially towards myself.... something for me to work on this month as well).

Maybe it's Winter blues, I don't know, but I am in a bit of a funk.  I miss the Sun, I miss fresh outdoor air that doesn't freeze my nose hair and burn my lungs (because it's SOOOOOO COLD!).  My children and I have been experiencing cabin fever.  February is the worst part of Winter in North Dakota.  The wind chill is brutal and everyone hunkers down and prays for it to pass quickly.

In my attempt to thrive in February, I will continue to work on improving my sleep and I will be expressing a lot of love and helping my children make more of an effort to express love to each other, their parents and friends.  This exercise will bring much needed warmth to our heart and souls. 

Story Time: Here's someone I love; my Michael.  This video was taken a couple weeks ago when he turned 6 months old.  He's rocking and rolling and hoping to start movin' asap. I got to say, this love of mine not only has my heart but he's captured the heart of his brother and sisters.  They can't get enough of him.  He can't get enough of their adoration.  I never realized the immense joy I would experience watching my children show love towards each other.  No words.  I'm so blessed.