Lesson #1 on Parenting from the Old Testament

This was the only image I could find of Adam and Eve after they were clothed.  :)

 

I decided to start going through the Old Testament (it has been a long time since I read through it), and study parenting.  The first lesson I found was in Genesis 2:24, which reads,

 

"Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh."

 

 

This scripture reminded me on the importance of building a strong foundation at the beginning of a marriage before children are born.  A blessing (or a challenge depending on how you look at it) in marriage is that you come from two different backgrounds.  With those backgrounds, you have perspectives, ideas and experiences that can help create a new family and life. 

 

The counsel I see in this verse is to make sure to "leave" our parents.  That may be literal but it also can be theoretical.  How awful for a marriage to come in and say, "Well my parents always did it like this?"  Or to continue to rely on your parents like you did when you were single and under their care.  That isn't healthy either.

 

A husband and wife should stand up together, independent from their families and begin something new and wonderful together.  Remember what they've been taught but relying on each other and on the Lord for guidance and direction as you create a home and life that is enriching, purposeful, meaningful and full of love. 

 

That is a great gift to give children a solid foundation in love and purpose.  They join the family and learn who they are, that they belong to a family that loves and honors one another and enjoys being together.  A family with values and traditions.

 

A couple ways that Jared and I have adapted our upbringings to fit our family is 1), lots of love and affection.  I came from a pretty verbally/physically affectionate family.  Or possibly that was more me instigating all the love.  I don't know.  But in the Jared & Marvia Hall family, we give lots of hugs and kisses.  Our children see me and Jared express our love for each other and we show love for each of them.  They show love towards each other as well.  Typically after morning and evening prayer, we have hug fests. hahaha!  We just hug and kiss everyone and Jared gives the kids "tickle attacks".  It is fun and connects us all to each other.

 

Another one is that Jared came from a home with structure and routine.  They were very consistent with scripture study and prayer.  This has taken us some time to establish but we've managed to figure out our own way and time to study together and prayer together.  Having the consistency to reconnect as a family in our faith in the Lord has been a great blessing to us as well.

 

So, what habits or traditions has your family created to strengthen your bonds to one another?  

Tapping about Cheese

 

The first time I started doing EFT by myself was a couple years ago.  I bought the "EFT for Weight loss" booklet and read through it.  One thing it suggested was write down all memories that you feel may have contributed to overeating and gaining unhealthy weight.  So I did.  It was long. 

 

After writing out my list, the book instructed to just start from the top and start tapping the memories out.  One point it made was to pay attention to where your mind goes as your tap.  If an emotion or memory comes into your mind go with it.  So I did.  While Jared was out of town and I had the evening to myself, I spent 45 minutes or so tapping.  The following is a portion of what I tapped through (I get pretty personal. It is my hope that by being open, my experience will be a blessing to you):

 

As many girls can attest, high school is rough. When I was in 9th grade (age 15), I was a pretty cute girl.  I had a nice figure.  I was aware of this because boys were commenting all the time.  To a point that it made me uncomfortable.  How would you feel if a boy walked up to you and told you to bend over (my nickname was ghetto booty)? My reaction was usually telling them off and walking away (which bothered me too because I knew they were staring at my butt.  So annoying!)
 



Well, there was a breaking point where I was put in a very compromising situation.  Unbeknownst to anyone in my family, while my brother's friend spent the night and while everyone was asleep, he came into my room and crawled in bed with me.  I didn't have the maturity or guts to scream.  I assumed I'd get into trouble.  He was pawing at me and I was doing everything I could to get him out without making a fuss.  I don't want to leave the impression that he was trying to rape me.  But he was 19 and accustom to a girl being much more "free".  Not me.  By the worlds standard, it would be considered a harmless make out.  For me, I felt used and an object.  After 3 attempts and locking my door, he left me alone. 

 

So I tapped out that experience.  I was surprised by how much emotion it brought up.  Feelings of being not seen for me, not heard, no one protecting me, not respected, feeling worthless and on and on.  I recalled having the distinct thought that I didn't want boys liking me for my body anymore.  It was a somewhat conscious decision.  I stopped dressing cute.  I just focused on my personality.  There were a couple wonderful guys that I liked a lot and they liked me but I pushed them away because I didn't feel worthy of them. 

 





 

While tapping this out, I had a random memory of changing my after school snack around this time.  Typically I would eat oranges and carrots like crazy after school.  Then it went to quesadillas.  It started with one and it grew to 3 or 4.  Gross, huh?  It was like I was trying to numb myself for the pain I felt.  I tapped about the quesadillas and the emotions I felt surrounding those memories of eating them during that time.  It was wild.  I had a physiology response to the tapping, the taste of cheese came into my mouth and it made me gag.  When I finished tapping this out.  I no longer wanted cheese.  It no longer served its purpose in my life anymore. 

 

Up until this tapping experience, cheese had been something I craved whenever I was stressed or feeling insecure.  Now it is just there.  For awhile, I wanted nothing to do with it.  I've come to a point where I appreciate the flavor but I don't crave it anymore.

 

Now I just need to tap out sugar and bread!!! That may take a couple hours.  Or more. :)

 

 

 

EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique)

 

To put it simply, EFT is combining energy work with cognitive therapy.  It is wonderful because you can do this in the privacy of your own home and don't have to schedule appointments to have the work done on you.  I have seen many variations of this work done with different names of the practice.

 

I personally have been amazed and impressed with how quickly I'm able to work through an emotional issue.  This method can apply to pretty much anything that is effecting you (addictions, weight loss goals, overcome trauma, emotional baggage, etc...). 

 

As I have mentioned before, having caesarians was very traumatizing for me emotionally.  The hippie that I am, in my ideal world, I would loved to have had all my babies at home.  I sigh just thinking about how wonderful that would have been.  For a long time, when people would share with me there natural birth stories, I would ache.  I was mad at my body for failing me and not allowing me this mortal experience.  There were many layers of sadness.  One day while reading a dear friend's blog post on her home birth, I started to cry and I couldn't stop.  So, I went in my room and sat on the floor and proceeded to do EFT tapping. 

 

 



When you begin with an emotional issue, you first check in and see on a scale of 0-10, how strongly are you feeling this emotion.  At that moment, it felt like a 10 for me.  So, I began tapping.  I started on the side of my hand on the karate chop point (if you were to karate chop, think of that spot you'd make contact.  That is the point) and I started tapping and said out loud something like, "Even though I feel like my body has failed me and I won't be able to ever have a baby naturally, I still profoundly love and accept myself."  I repeat that phrase three times. 

 

Then I would tap along the points that you see in the image above saying "my body failed me" three times at each point while tapping.  I would start with the point on the inside of the eyebrow, then go to the outside, then under the eye, then above the lip, below the lip, collar bone, and under arm (if you were to sing "I'm a little tea pot", the point is where you fingers touch when you do the "handle" position) and finally finish off with the top of my head.

 

After completely this sequence, I would recheck in with myself and see where I'm at on the scale.  So, if I was at an 8.  I would continue the whole process until I was at a 0.  On this particular occasion, it took 10 minutes of tapping before I was able to feel no emotional connection to the situation.  Now I'm able to sincerely feel joy for people who are able to have natural birth and not internalize it and beat myself up for not being able to.  I have released the frustration I felt with my body and have forgiven myself (not that I needed forgiving but I was able to accept the situation and love myself anyway). 

 

Now some people think the process sounds negative to say something like "my body failed me" over and over and over again.  Well, what I'm doing is saying out loud what my mind is already saying to my body.   The difference is while, tapping different energy points, you're able to get to the core of it in your body and release it. 

 

Another note to point out is that I didn't do every sequence saying the exact same thing.  Sometimes I would tap about my hips not being able to open up or that I felt like I was less than a woman or whatever it was and work through it.  I like to finish with a affirmation and say something like, "I'm so grateful that I live in a time where me and my children are able to survive childbirth and be healthy and happy."  Repeat three times. 

 

If you go to amazon, you can find tons of books on the subject.  EFT for weight loss, EFT for Procrastination,  EFT for positive living, EFT for back pain, etc.... 

 

Here's a website that has some good videos... http://www.thetappingsolution.com/.  And youtube has tons of videos. 

 

 

I just really like this lady's accent and her warm energy. :)

 

 

 

 

 

 

Today I did EFT tapping in the shower.  Only place I could think that I'd hopefully not get interrupted.  :)  Whatever works, right!?  :)

 

 

P.S.  If you try this, let me know how it goes for you. Happy tapping!

 



Sugar won't be the death of me. IT WON'T!!!!

Story Time: A friend dropped off some killer brownies that the kids really enjoyed.  Eliza decided to share some with Michael.  I wasn't aware of that fact until I came in and found him like this.  I think sugar is crack for babies.  He went CRAZY.  I'm not exaggerating.  I had never seen him be so out of control physically and emotionally.  It was nuts.  Will have to keep an eye on this one. :)

I'm feeling quite frustrated with myself.  So, a few weeks after I completed my Candida Cleanse, I was feeling pretty great and then while Jared was out of town and I was up late... I wanted chocolate.  So I got myself chocolate.  It hasn't been pretty since then.  So, clearly my issue is more than Candida.  There is an emotional element to it.  I need to figure out why I'm addicted.  What "hunger" do I have that I'm trying to fill with sugar?  Clearly it's not satisfying me. Just incase, I've started up the EOs again to kill off any yeast and I'm hoping it'll suppress my desire for it. 

What amazes me is just how much sugar effects me.  My brain gets foggy. I don't sleep well.  I have less energy during the day.  I struggle to hold a single thought and carry the thought process to a satisfying conclusion.  I just jump around with a billion thoughts in my head.  I've see a clear impact on my ability to pray and/or meditate.  I can hardly center myself and focus on communing with the Lord or hold to a affirmation.   

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints has a law of health that we call the Word of Wisdom.  It's pretty basic; abstain from alcohol, tea (Black, Green, etc.... herbal is fine), drugs, tobacco, coffee AND eat essentially wholefoods; with lots of fruits, veggies, herbs, grain and meat sparingly.  There are physical and spiritual blessings promised for caring for our bodies.  In Doctrine & Covenants Section 89, the promises are:

 And all saints who remember to keep and do these sayings, walking in obedience to the commandments, shall receive health in their navel and marrow to their bones;

 And shall find wisdom and great treasures of knowledge, even hidden treasures;

 And shall run and not be weary, and shall walk and not faint.

 

The Word of Wisdom doesn't mention sugar.  I do believe though that these blessings apply when we put healthy food into our bodies and abstain from harmful substances.  Sugar is a harmful substance.  When I avoid it, I run better, think better, perform better and just feel 100 times better.  I feel of those blessings.

 

I need to get serious and figure out how to overcome this addiction.  I think I'll do some EFT.  I'll tell you about EFT tomorrow. :)